Featured Writer: Cristina Pitter
Porn...for Women!
Brooklyn based artist, storyteller, and sex educator Cristina Pitter discusses her encounters with porn at different ages, why we need to celebrate it, and her take on the world of “Pornlandia.”
First, it was a summer yard sale. 7 years old. There was a box at the edge of my grandmother’s yard filled with books. One cover held a twisted image of Medusa and inside held erotica that I devoured with a dictionary nearby for the reference of terms I didn’t know.
Next came the musty smut magazines and lingerie catalogs. 8 years old. I discovered the weathered pages under my parents’ bed while playing hide-and-seek. I was intrigued and infatuated by the bodies on display and a stirring inside me that I couldn’t explain, but very much enjoyed.
Afterwards, the late nights in the living room. 9 years old. Turning the cable box to the channels filled with static. Blurry black, white, grey shards of images stirring my curiosity. Moans from the television creeping at a low. A growing need to see these bodies in motion.
I can go on and on about the ways I first encountered porn. However, what fascinates me more is the female connection to porn and the taboos that still linger around women enjoying it. I’m curious about the sin of sensuality. I’m curious about the double standards women face with sex. I’m curious about the ridiculous constraints society continues to force upon women and their bodies. Needless to say, I have a lot of questions and my curiosity well runs deep and plenty. These questions don’t have clear and concise answers (aside from this country being founded on terrible puritanical beliefs and a deeply rooted fear and hatred for the power that is WOMAN) but here is one thing I do know: at the end of the day, everyone simply wants to feel good on all levels. Embracing your sexual and sensual needs is a part of that! Allowing yourself to feel pleasure and discovering different kinds of pleasure is a part of that! Porn, my friends, is a part of that.
I love porn. Actually, I love good porn. Let’s face it, there is some less than stellar writing and acting happening in Pornlandia. But, for the most part, I think porn is hilarious, thrilling, and one of the many ways to both sexually stimulate and relieve yourself. Erotica is another great tool. Throw in some toys, lube, and sex education, and we have a pleasure party about to happen! And who doesn’t love that? Pleasure, that is. I think it’s important for women to recognize that pleasure is a principle that needs to be honored not only for whatever partners they may have, but for themselves. Self-love and self-care needs to replace the floods of shame and repression. When that happens, a whole new world opens up. Sadly without Aladdin, Jasmine, and the flying carpet, but you get the idea. A new world of confidence, compassion, and healing happens when you allow yourself to feel good without worrying about what someone else may think as long—as you are educated, consensual, and safe when it comes to your sexual engagements, be it porn or otherwise, there is wrongdoing to be found. Instead, there is celebration. A celebration of knowing that sex is weird, funny, and messy, but amazing. A celebration of knowing that sex is what you make it, and that you don’t have to let others dictate how you should or should not engage with it. A celebration of knowing you are human and deserving of moments of joy and satisfaction, be it from a tantalizing story of romance that allows you to escape to another reality or from the delicious carnalities of flesh displayed on a video. The choice is yours. I say throw away the fear and dive deep, darlings.
Cristina Pitter
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